VIEW FROM THE BACK OF THE PACK – APRIL

By Dave Webb

Last time I mentioned that we are organising a series of 5K races in Poundbury this summer, on the last Wednesday evening of each month. This process is more complicated than you might think. First, we had to identify a 1K lap that could be safely run 5 times. A group of us could therefore be seen on a Sunday morning, running round and round the pavements and paths of Poundbury. After 9 different attempts, and much inspection of GPS devices, we had worked up a decent sweat but still hadn’t nailed it. Finally Dave Butt found a route which has now been verified by an official UK Athletics measurer, ie a man from Weymouth with a carefully calibrated bicycle.

This prolonged winter has been a test of our determination and commitment, especially when running into what Thomas Hardy called the ‘atmospheric cutlery’ of an easterly wind. Several club members braved an early start and a wicked wind-chill to run in the Yeovil Half-Marathon, where both Spencers posted good times, and Neil Goode set a personal best. Earlier in March, after heavy rain, the Great Western 10K presented a different challenge. The route took in some very muddy fields which Dave Butt reported as being like trying to run in lead boots. Andy Staples passed a runner who had stopped and was poking about in the mud. It turned out that he had lost a shoe, which was swallowed up by the greedy ground and never seen again.

Sticking with the footwear theme, some readers may have heard of some new high-tech running shoes that can speak. So far they have been programmed to say things like ‘Well done, you’re running well today’, and ‘How good to feel the wind through my laces’. This month’s running question asks what other phrases these shoes should be programmed to say. My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, offered a choice of pithy phrases, not all of them repeatable in a church magazine. One of his typical suggestions was for the shoes to yell ‘Sit down, you fool, and put me back in the cupboard’. For my part, I would welcome any words of encouragement, and I suspect that the runner who lost his shoe would also like the shoes to be able to say something along the lines of ‘Help! Help! I’m being sucked into the muddy mouth of the mighty maelstrom’.

The main event of the past month has been the club’s annual Johnny Kipps race. The winner receives not only the glory, but also the hallowed trophy that has now been used for more than 20 years. To the untrained eye the trophy may resemble a biscuit tin, but closer inspection shows that it is inscribed with the words ‘La boite de Johnny Kipps…the true essence of Maiden Newton Runners’, embossed in felt-tip pen on a stylish cardboard mount. Tradition demands that the trophy is filled with biscuits by the previous year’s winner. This year the trophy returned to the Lascelles household when Martin was first home in a very speedy time of 38.22, ahead of 12 other runners. Other notable performances included Jackie Webb taking the first lady spot, and Tara England winning the first dog prize, having dragged Phil round the 6-mile route.

By the time you read this, the fastest hairdresser in the west, Charlie Spencer, will hopefully have completed the London Marathon. I hope she followed the advice of that well known athletics expert, William Shakespeare, whose friar in Romeo and Juliet provided words that could also serve as our club motto: ‘Wisely and slow! They stumble that run fast’.