Tales From The Back Of The Grid - The Great North Run by Eric

First a little background: after a long spell not running due to lower back muscular issues this is my first competitive run since the infamous Parrett Trail last October. Getting back up to speed over the summer was partially successful and I had reached a comfortable distance of 8 miles. The rest was in the lap of the Gods!

The morning of the race was calm, slightly misty and full of nervous tension. Through the night the north east was drenched in rain so I wasn’t quite hopeful of a dry race. I was running alongside my brother-in-law – a much more experienced long distance runner and after a hefty bowl of Scots Oats we made our way to our gate – which was second last nearly a kilometer from the start line!!

Why is it, that while getting ready at the start, all the other runners look so much better prepared than you? I certainly thought this until we walked the kilometer to our gate where there was a better balance of age differences, beer bellies and other ungainly physiques. I felt quite good and quite at home!

Now as usual, I had musical accompaniment for the race. This time I had The Who to get me round. The aim was simple – get to the end of Tommy by 10k, then finish the race before the end of the 1st disc of Quadrophenia.

To get the crowd warmed up there was a fitness bloke on a cherry picker with a microphone giving us an aerobics workout. It was an amazing sight to see 54,000 people all doing the same thing – although the sound didn’t match up with the big screens closest to us as we were so far back!!!!

The wheel Chairs and the blind runners set off first followed by the women’s athletes. Then the men’s athletes were announced – it was good to see Gabrsellassie, it gave the whole race a little kudos and I know in my heart of hearts that I gave him a good run for his money! He only pipped me to the post, I mean, come on, 1hr and 44 mins difference – it ain’t that much!

After the starting pistol it took ages for us to get moving. I thought that I was never going to catch up old Haile and my heart sank even further when the times came up for the women’s race as they approached mile 9!!!!

However, with the promise of being able to high-five Ant or Dec at the start line getting ever closer we gradually made our way forward. The Red Arrows put on brief display – followed by a notice on the big screens that there will be a full Red Arrow display at the finish at 1.15. It should have had disclaimer after that in brackets that said “Except for you fat boys at the back! You’ll never make it!”

(However, I did see some of the display – oops, spoilers!)

After 32 mins since the pistol, we reached the start line and I pressed play on my iPod, completely ignoring and missing Ant & Dec!! Shame! The vibe was fantastic and it was odd how with so many people that we were actually running. The dual carriageway snaked its way through the campus of the University of Northumbria, over flyovers and through underpasses. With the initial flood of blood and sweat dealt with, we rounded the bend towards the Tyne Bridge – a really magical moment. The weather was dry and cool with strains of The Who’s Amazing Journey competing with the crowd noise as I spotted my family on the left just before the bridge. A quick high-five with my son – infinitely better than high-fiving one of those ‘celeb’ types – and we were on our way over the bridge. At this point Phil’s advice about road cambers popped into my head as I took to the central white lines over the bridge – a sport more commonly reserved for the local youth on a Friday or Saturday night after a few alcopops!

The mile markers were coming quite quickly and I had found a good rhythm and shortly after having listened to The Acid Queen, Mile 3 appeared. All was on target, I was half way through Tommy and I recall thinking during “Do You Think It's Alright?” that everything was better than alright!

The next stretch up to 10k went extremely well. What was unusual was that the runners hadn’t thinned out. We were still all bunched up running at the same pace – I guess the whole “gate” system and running with similar runners really works – although it was difficult to get a breeze as the day started to heat up.

A low point of this section was being overtaken by SpongeBob Square Pants – he must have been hot!!!! As we made our way through one of the many council estates, Pinball Wizard came and went. The local kids were busy playing with their new toys – discarded half empty plastic bottles of water, which they were squirting at us passing runners, with a few of the local yoof deciding to abandon squirting water in favour of actually throwing the bottles at the runners!!!! That certainly kept you running for a while!!!

The mile markers kept coming and going with a good regularity and as I reached the end of “We’re Not Gonna Take It” I crossed the 6mile point followed very closely by the 10k marker. I was bang on target and the song was apt:
“Listening to you,
I get the music.
Gazing at you,
I get the heat.
Following you,
I climb the mountains.

I get excitement at your feet.”

The next 5K went without controversy, but dodging over-excited children was still an ongoing torment! When I reached 8 miles I was feeling great and I knew that I was about to move out of my comfort zone. By then I had entered the Quadrophenia phase of the race and was still hopeful of finishing by the end of the 1st disc. Mile 9 came along and then mile 10 took a bit longer to appear. At this point, my knees were a bit red and feeling tired and at each drink station I was left squirting water on my knees to cool them down by myself as the local yoof had disappeared and had probably gone back to the safety of more homely pursuits like joy-riding or ram-raiding.

The pace was beginning to slow and my desire for the next drink station became slightly obsessive. There were 3 isotonic drink stations but there was no sugar and no calories in these drinks. Now forgive me for not being an experienced runner but surely the intake of glucose with all the calories it contains is a good thing? I was relying on a good old bottle of sugary sports drink – Kevlar juice or an equivalent. But no. It was a bottle of foul tasting mineral suspension which although topped up my levels, it didn’t provide me with that boost that was so desperately needed. But wait – what is that I see on the horizon? A jelly baby station? Am I delirious? Have I hit the wall so hard that I am imagining things? No, it’s a jelly baby station!! SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGAR!!! Gimme MORE!!!!  After a small sugar rush I felt slightly better, though the knees were knackered!

Shortly after the 10 mile mark I walked for the first time. Only 10 paces or so, then back to my running pace. But it signaled the beginning of the end. Walking was quite uncomfortable after running for so long but it became necessary. The halfway point of Quadrophenia came and went, so I adjusted my target to get to the finish line before the end of the cd – surely that was achievable? Miles 11 & 12 came and went quite slowly during which one kind resident was stood holding a tin of biscuits – SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGAR!!!! It was pain & pleasure – the biscuit (a custard cream) was nectar, however my mouth was so dry that it wasn’t until the next water station before I could accompany the dry biscuit with some liquid!

Then we headed down hill towards the sea at South Shields and then hell happened. The downhill stretch looked welcoming but just after turning onto the flat straight to the finish line - a kilometer away, my right knee stiffened and became intensely painful – on the outside edge. I knew it wasn’t muscular but that didn’t help me much. 800m to go and I was hobbling along the sea front as the rain started to pelt down in a heavy shower. Then there was a roar as the Red Arrows flew right over my head towards the finish line trailing red, white & blue. An uplifting sight to behold! I hadn’t missed the display after all! With buoyed spirits I tried running again – useless. I hobbled on eyeing the kerb suspiciously as if it were about to claim its next victim. I reach the 200m board. I try running again – success! I feel the pain begin to shift a little – enough for me to maintain a gentle jog to the finish line. Sadly Haile had gone. I thought he might have hung around for a while!!!! With the rain hammering down and foil cape donned like a bedraggled cat I eventually found my family and then set to task on the next race – how to get out of South Shields with 54000 others and get back to Dorset before work in the morning – but that’s another story!!!! 13.1 miles – I did it!