Slateman Triathlon (or Wetsuit for Sale)

Sunday 19th May, at 10:25am and I’m standing up to my knees in freezing cold water with my feet encased in an old pair of socks resting on some evil mixture of mud and rotting vegetation waiting for a horn to sound, wondering whatever induced me to come here.

In 2011 I foolishly got a desire to attempt a triathlon, followed by some others and culminating in the purchase of a second-hand wetsuit to attempt the open water swim in the Bideford Triathlon. Even on the hottest day of the year (in October) it wasn’t that warm in the water, but memory fades quite quickly, and after watching it on TV I decided that I could attempt the Slateman Triathlon in North Wales. I even stupidly ignored the fact that the swim that year, had been cut from 1000m to 750m due to the cold conditions, but last year was a poor year and it was going to be better this year, wasn't it? Well after a miserable, cold winter during which I hardly got out on the bike at all, I decided I wasn't fit enough to attempt the 60K bike course, so asked to be changed to the sprint event. (400m swim, 20K bike and 6K run). This seemed a lot more achievable. We booked B&B in Llandudno, ok it was a few miles from the race, but it was No 1 on a tripadvisor list, and was a very nice place. We got the last room available. So we were on the 4th floor, and there were 63 stairs down to the breakfast room in the basement!!

We spent Saturday driving round Anglesey as heavy rain had been forecast, but none actually appeared, went bird-watching (as we do), caught a brief glimpse of two puffins, and saw hundreds of razorbills etc. Then back to check the weather forecast and pack the equipment. But there seemed to be a problem, the weather was being forecast as dry and sunny – surely some mistake !! Anyway I packed various items of warm clothing in my box just in case. Up early the next morning for a bowl of cereal, our hosts had even offered to make us rolls in lieu of the cooked breakfast. And even after Richard had insisted on washing all the seagull droppings off the car we still arrived in good time. Set up in transition, ignored the safety briefing (oops, don’t tell the organiser), but I needed the loo and didn't want to use the wetsuit.

The main event started first with the fastest athletes going off at 9:30am, followed by three more waves at 10 minute intervals. Eventually it was time to force myself into the wetsuit and nervously wait for my turn to start at 10:30am. Well after all the practice swimming laps of the pool, I thought I would be OK. I’d even counted roughly how many strokes it would take, but I still couldn't get my face to go in the water, so ended up doing breast stroke with my head up again. I started off near the back, and hadn't gone very far when the competitor on my right raised his hand and needed to be rescued from the water. They have plenty of marshals in boats ready for this, and it did cross my mind for brief moment to do the same. But I plodded on, aware of the field pulling away in front of me, but with a glimpse of a few white hats nearby. Without my glasses, the hats and the red buoys for the turns was all I could see. Three hundred strokes later and the boat is alongside, and I can hear encouraging words, but still I can’t see, “left a bit”, “straight on”, “right a bit”, “just past the black buoy”. I can’t see it, so she guides me towards the finish, then I get cramp in my right leg, and can’t move it, so swim with just my left leg. Then my feet touch the mud, but I can’t stand up so paddle forward a bit more, then hop and paddle and finally I’m on dry land. Richard is there and unhooks the Velcro on the wetsuit zip, but I concentrate on just running up to the transition. It’s about 200 yards, and I can’t see much without my glasses, but I ran it yesterday so pretty sure I can find my bike. Then it’s off with the wetsuit, or rather it isn't as the old socks and the timing chip are all tangled together with the leg of the suit and it takes several attempts to extricate myself. (Which causes some amusement for the spectators just the other side of the barrier). Luckily all this effort seems to have brought some circulation back to my hands, and I get my red cycling jacket, shoes, helmet, and gloves on and set off on the bike.

By now the sun is starting to come out, and the course is only slightly undulating at the start. So I’m feeling much better already. However it’s not far before we’re starting the long incline up to the top of the Llanberis Pass. I’d heard this mentioned in hushed tones, so was suitably apprehensive and had carefully avoided driving anywhere near it. However it’s not that steep, there’s plenty of steeper hills round here, but it’s just relentless. About 4 miles just continuously going up. The road winds a bit so a line of cyclists can be seen ahead, some moving very slowly or even walking. Coming round one bend I hear the unmistakeable sound of a cuckoo, and I’m starting to pass quite a few of the cyclists. And then ahead it’s the top of the pass, people cheering and the joy of descending the other side is only slightly tempered by the thought of the climb back up on the return. Meanwhile a Llanberis Mountain Rescue vehicle has whizzed past, followed by other “blue-light” emergency vehicles. As I come down and round a bend I spot the reason, someone – I think it’s a motorcyclist, not a competitor, has had a nasty accident. A sobering moment, and I take it a bit more carefully on the bends. Turn left at a junction, turn in a lay-by and the sprint competitors go back the way they came. The casualty is still lying on the ground, but the face isn't covered so that’s a good sign. Back up to the top of the pass, not far this side, then it’s the long downhill back in to Llanberis village. I can see only one competitor in front and I’m keeping up with him. Then back into transition. My box is a mess, I can’t find my hat, and when I do the fastening has come undone, never mind, I perch it on top of my head, and I’m out on to the run. The sun is out and it’s becoming warm.

The track in the grassy field becomes a tarmac road and I slow down to adjust my hat, hearing a bystander laughingly saying “I thought it was a sprint”, his wife hits him and I continue up the steep hill. This rapidly becomes a rough track with plenty of stones, boulders and tree roots. I've passed a few runners and am now on my own. I’m reminded of bits of the Haytor, Race the Train, and anything on Exmoor. I convince myself I've done plenty that has been harder, but my legs are definitely starting to complain. Suddenly there are loads of competitors around and I realise the long course has joined the route, but they are much faster than me, and I obligingly let them past. It’s good to have someone to follow. We’re now going downhill and soon the trail is back on tarmac and then a gravelly track with a “400m to go” sign. Joy!!! This is so similar to the finish at the NDVM. I’m counting down paces, I suddenly hear Richard cheering me on, and there’s the finish, I've made it. I collect my slate coaster (what else ?), grab a handful of biscuits, chocolate etc and Richard’s there to meet me. And the sun is still shining.

The official review of the race is at http://alwaysaimhighevents.com/triathlons/latest-news And the results are at: http://www.tdl.ltd.uk/race-results.php?event=1331

VIEW FROM THE BACK OF THE PACK – APRIL

By Dave Webb

Last time I mentioned that we are organising a series of 5K races in Poundbury this summer, on the last Wednesday evening of each month. This process is more complicated than you might think. First, we had to identify a 1K lap that could be safely run 5 times. A group of us could therefore be seen on a Sunday morning, running round and round the pavements and paths of Poundbury. After 9 different attempts, and much inspection of GPS devices, we had worked up a decent sweat but still hadn’t nailed it. Finally Dave Butt found a route which has now been verified by an official UK Athletics measurer, ie a man from Weymouth with a carefully calibrated bicycle.

This prolonged winter has been a test of our determination and commitment, especially when running into what Thomas Hardy called the ‘atmospheric cutlery’ of an easterly wind. Several club members braved an early start and a wicked wind-chill to run in the Yeovil Half-Marathon, where both Spencers posted good times, and Neil Goode set a personal best. Earlier in March, after heavy rain, the Great Western 10K presented a different challenge. The route took in some very muddy fields which Dave Butt reported as being like trying to run in lead boots. Andy Staples passed a runner who had stopped and was poking about in the mud. It turned out that he had lost a shoe, which was swallowed up by the greedy ground and never seen again.

Sticking with the footwear theme, some readers may have heard of some new high-tech running shoes that can speak. So far they have been programmed to say things like ‘Well done, you’re running well today’, and ‘How good to feel the wind through my laces’. This month’s running question asks what other phrases these shoes should be programmed to say. My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, offered a choice of pithy phrases, not all of them repeatable in a church magazine. One of his typical suggestions was for the shoes to yell ‘Sit down, you fool, and put me back in the cupboard’. For my part, I would welcome any words of encouragement, and I suspect that the runner who lost his shoe would also like the shoes to be able to say something along the lines of ‘Help! Help! I’m being sucked into the muddy mouth of the mighty maelstrom’.

The main event of the past month has been the club’s annual Johnny Kipps race. The winner receives not only the glory, but also the hallowed trophy that has now been used for more than 20 years. To the untrained eye the trophy may resemble a biscuit tin, but closer inspection shows that it is inscribed with the words ‘La boite de Johnny Kipps…the true essence of Maiden Newton Runners’, embossed in felt-tip pen on a stylish cardboard mount. Tradition demands that the trophy is filled with biscuits by the previous year’s winner. This year the trophy returned to the Lascelles household when Martin was first home in a very speedy time of 38.22, ahead of 12 other runners. Other notable performances included Jackie Webb taking the first lady spot, and Tara England winning the first dog prize, having dragged Phil round the 6-mile route.

By the time you read this, the fastest hairdresser in the west, Charlie Spencer, will hopefully have completed the London Marathon. I hope she followed the advice of that well known athletics expert, William Shakespeare, whose friar in Romeo and Juliet provided words that could also serve as our club motto: ‘Wisely and slow! They stumble that run fast’.

Honiton Hippo? Sounds like a muddy run to me!

This event had escaped the diary for the past few years due to movable feast that is Easter.  This year was different, and upon applying online, I promptly received my race number.  The chirpy letter from Honiton Running Club was fantastic – describing how hippos were discovered during the building of their by-pass, revealing how they had inhabited the area for 100,000 years.   My eye quickly glanced over the usual race blurb and settled on the last line saying that ‘refreshments will available at the finish and the best bit is that they will be free to all runners.’  Perhaps plans are afoot to introduce the species...

'4 legged animal..., beginning with...?'

It proved to be a relaxed start; a blunt 10.30 outside Honiton County Primary School.  The only taxing bit proved to be what to do with the car keys, given the pre-race warnings that ‘hippos love water’.  The field of runners proved to be a mix of club runners, gym bunnies and many locals simply rising to the challenge.  There was health banter, with the organiser stating that all complaints should be lodged with Tiverton RC.  Upon starting, the race descended down to the by-pass allowing a glimpse of the foreboding river crossing at the end, and up into the wooded hills opposite.  The rain held off and the slippery slope up was saved from becoming a slippery slide down.  The hills were steep, occurring in the first half of the 7.3 miles.  The course marshals were jovial but sincerely supportive as they pointed runners back up the hill they had just descended.   Indeed, runners certainly got a lot for their miles; mostly off-road, lush and green, with 3 water features to negotiate towards the end.  By the time we arrived at the last one, a rowdy crowd had gathered for their morning’s entertainment!

My race started out as being the ‘6-11 miles easy; 2-3 half marathon pace’ as directed in my 5 k training programme.  However, my competitive streak got the better of me and it became an all out race when 2 likely lads sprang past me at the first hill.  They were eventually hauled in on the last hill, and help me clock 1 hr 01 mins for MN Runners which I was very pleased with, not least because it allowed access to the final piece of chocolate cake!  To sum up, this is a short but tough course for those with appropriately studded trainers and passion for the off-road and cakes.

View (s) from the Back of the Pack

The latest of Dave Webb's amusing articles for the Herald:

VIEW FROM THE BACK OF THE PACK – MARCH 2013

Our February meeting fell on Valentine’s Day. Only 5 of us made it to our reserved table at The Fox and Hounds. I assumed that the absentees were occupied with affairs of the heart, such as wining and dining their loved ones, or walking together in the moonlight. It turned out though that Charlie was at Pilates, Dan was supervising his scout troop, Alison was working, Neil was at home with the children, and the one couple who were staying in for a romantic meal had opted for a dish of that well-known aphrodisiac, cauliflower cheese.

On 7 April we will be holding our annual ‘Johnny Kipps’ race. We will gather at 10.30 at Wynford Eagle to run a 6-mile circuit that goes out past West Compton, up towards Eggardon, and back down to Wynford Eagle. A few years ago Dan and I managed to persuade our clubmates to allow people to choose in which direction they ran the circuit, so that you could pass people coming the other way and not know who was in the lead.  I thought this was an idea which could catch on more widely; imagine how much more exciting it would be if the runners in the Olympics 10K final were running in different directions. This year we will all be running the same way. We hope to get about 20 runners, with non-members welcome. The London Marathon on 21 April will be hoping for a bigger turnout. Amongst the runners will be the fastest hairdresser in the West, Charlie Spencer. Lin Lascelles has been helping Charlie with some extra training, including speedwork. You may have seen Charlie running while Lin rides her bike alongside, offering words of encouragement, or abuse.

The 2^nd Wednesday of each month sees an evening 5K race at Street. Most of our runners have got faster as the winter has progressed. Dave Butt, Martin Lascelles, Neil Goode and Charlie all set their season’s best times in February, and Charlie is on course to win the series prize for her age group. Dave Carnell, however, has been plagued by a persistent problem of getting a stitch during the race. In February he tried a new tactic, of fasting all day. The result was that he still got the stitch, but was also weak with hunger. Next month he plans to try eating a big curry beforehand to see if that propels him any faster.

Lin has her own rather eccentric theory as to why Dave has been struggling. She believes that he has let his hair grow too long. Her husband Martin, on the other hand, had a severe crew-cut and then posted his fastest time of the year. Perhaps Lin is not just Charlie’s trainer, but also her agent, drumming up new haircutting trade. Continuing this theme, this month’s running question asks, ‘Will I run faster if I have my hair cut?’ My view is that Lin is right; less hair equals more speed. How many hairy hippies do you see at the Olympics? Imagine the extra wind-resistance that would have slowed down Mo Farah if he had been sporting a full Afro? My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, takes the opposite view. He has been as bald as a billiard ball for years but insists that long hair would not slow him down, on the grounds that it is not physically possible for him to move any more slowly.

Finally, I can give advance notice that we will be organising a series of 5K races in Poundbury at 7.30pm on the last Wednesday of each summer month. I’ll give more information nearer the time, but anyone who is interested might want to start by joining our easy-paced 4-mile Monday night runs at 7pm from The Chalk and Cheese in Maiden Newton.

VIEW FROM THE BACK OF THE PACK – FEBRUARY 2013

The dark nights of January are lit up each year by the highlight of Dorset’s social calendar, the Maiden Newton Runners AGM and Christmas dinner. The alert reader may be wondering why we hold our Christmas dinner in January. The delay reflects our deficits in both organisation and timekeeping. We do manage, though, to arrange a glamorous venue and a sophisticated meal, namely a takeaway from the Balti Express at the Maiden Newton Youth and Community Centre.

We usually aim to complete our AGM in under 10 minutes. In fact it’s the one occasion when we try to move quickly. But this year we had some weighty matters to discuss. As well as needing to decide which national athletics association to affiliate to, we also needed to decide on our subscription rates for the coming year. Phil, Lin, John and I, being the club’s officers, were mindful of the golden rule of democracy, which is never to ask a question until you are sure of the answer. We therefore got together beforehand to cook up a proposal, and then told our clubmates that they couldn’t have their curry until they agreed to it. We secured unanimous approval for our plan to charge a £10 subscription rate, with optional extras for those who want to register with UK Athletics (which brings reduced rates on race entry fees) and for new members who want some club kit. We also decided that people who come regularly on the Monday night runs will need to become club members.

A quick digression now for this month’s running question, prompted by our plans to revive the club handicap runs. The way these runs work is that everyone gives an estimate of their time to complete the 3 mile course. Runners then start at carefully timed intervals so that everyone should finish more or less together. The question is therefore whether we run faster when we are chasing or being chased. For some people the fear of being beaten by a rival spurs them on to go faster, while others speed up when they can target someone ahead of them. My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, says he moves fastest when he is chasing something, like a bus or a free portion of chips.

Back to our AGM and the prestige of our annual awards ceremony. Blog entry of the year went to Richard Rider for his London Marathon report, beating off competition from Dan Cantrell’s description of the deep mud on the Inca Trail race (the Ilminster Inca Trail, rather than the Peruvian version), and Phil England’s account of the epic bike ride from Cattistock to York which somehow ended up in Doncaster. A new award, for the outstanding contribution, went to Jackie Webb for starting and leading the Monday night runs (7pm from The Chalk, all welcome). The annual club championship was won by Charlie ‘Speedy’ Spencer, the fastest hairdresser in the West. All that remained was to present the much-coveted Golden Welly, the PR award for bringing the club into disrepute. The prize this year went to Martin Lascelles, who had put together a portfolio of misdemeanours. He got lost on the Forde Abbey 10K and took half the field with him; he forgot the baton at the North Dorset Relay and ran the first leg without it; he put his London Marathon medal on E-bay as soon as he got home (and sold it for £30!); and at the Tintinten he got into an argument with the race organiser as he tried to persuade her that the prize for first lady should go to the first lady to finish, ie his wife Lin, and not to the first finisher with a lady’s name, ie a man called Leigh.

Killerton Park Run (aka Ashclyst Forest)

The biggest challenge in doing a Park run for us is always getting to the start line for 9am, apparently we're not morning people.......However, this outing involved additional pressure since Killerton has temporarily relocated to Ashclyst forest whilst the permanent course dries out - we both (incorrectly) assumed that the other one knew where we were going.  At 8.45am therefore we were in a village store in Broadclyst several miles away asking for directions.......

Arriving with about 7 minutes to spare the next dilemma presented itself, woodland car park in the middle of nowhere - no toilets. After 75 minutes of Martin's driving and the additional stress caused by the navigational challenges this was a real issue and caused a rapid plunge into the forest in search of solitude.  Very sparse covering vegetation at this time of year and a lot of people warming up meant that it was not a particularly successful mission.

Park Run have done a great job of finding a new course in a very short time.  They had used Ashclyst Forest for the first time the previous week and there had apparently been some issues causing a change to the course this week.  The pre race brief explained that it was now 3 "almost complete" laps and warned of so many hazards - loose stones, protruding tree stumps, loose shale, ice - that we began to wonder what we had let ourselves in for.

This was my first "race" since September and Martin had decided to run it with me.  We lined up somewhat further back than our customary aggressive front line position and set off at a decidedly steadier pace than the norm.  The course followed a woodland trail, which despite the warnings we found fairly easy running and the field soon spread out as we enjoyed a gentle downhill start.  We should, of course, have expected that any pleasant downhill would be paid for later and the inevitable climb back up through the car park soon followed.  This seemed a lot longer and steeper than the preceeding downhill and knowing that we had to climb it twice more did not help!

The lap actually seemed quite short and we were soon running past the finishing funnel and crossing the start line to start our second loop.  A long break from racing has seen me lose my competitive edge and although there were a couple of girls running ahead of me I felt none of the usual compulsion to mount a challenge, this race was just about getting back into competition and getting an idea of just how much hard work there is ahead to get back to pre injury level running.

Strangely the second lap seemed longer and the hill steeper and this pattern repeated itself on the final lap when I realised that the hill was actually a small mountain...but at least once we got to the top it was just a short and mostly downhill "sprint" to the finish.  We crossed the line in 23.47 and 23.50, not bad all things considered although given the nature of the course I still don't have any real idea of how much pace I've lost

After another magical mystery tour around the forest we finally found our way out onto the A30 and scurried into the lovely warmth of the Boston Tea Party in Honiton to thaw out and enjoy post race coffee and breakfast.........and all this accomplished before we would normally have even got out of bed, thank you Park Run!

26.2 in 3:26

As Lin's Achilles has still not healed enough for her to resume training we have decided to take up a new sport together: Fencing!

We jumped in at the deep end and started with the regulation marathon distance of 26.2 (ft) - the length of fence that we needed to replace. The entry fee for this event was a bit steep, at £58.45 which we paid to Wickes Lumber for 50 2.4m lengths of 100x10mm feather edge board and 400g of 40mm galvanised nails which we delivered off the day before. But we already had the equipment needed, a tape measure, (slightly blunt) handsaw, and most importantly a pair of trusty hammers.

Being highly trained and hardened athletes we decided to cycle to the start (8.4 miles) and after taking down the remnants of  the diseased and dilapidated mess that used to separate our garden from next door's we were already shattered,  raring to go, and it was too soon for a break, so we dragged ourselves and tools and wood to the top of the garden and we were off! The course was fairly straightforward at first, apart from a tricky bit of sloping mud, so we made good progress to the 12 mile, I mean foot mark. Then we had to negotiate a sharp drop, down to the trampoline, and barely enough room to hammer nails in along side the retaining wall. It was hard work, but luckily a refreshment stop was provided by our neighbour Di who passed on some words of encouragement along with a cup of coffee and a chocolate biscuit. Much nicer than the energy drink and slime/gel sachet we usually consume during a marathon, Di even let us dump the old fence in her garden for burning later in the year if it ever stops raining, thanks again Di!.

After the drink stop, the old fence is in a heap in next door's garden behind

Then it was into the second half, and after a straightforward section, and with concentration and strength sagging we were faced with the challenging final 8 feet which required us to negotiate a curve in the line of fence, bending it around the last post, and behind the downspout and water butt. This nearly proved our undoing, but with the aid of a couple of lengths of old 2 by 4 we managed to bodge our way to the end and cross the line in a respectable 3 hours 26 minutes. Not a bad time, but the most impressive thing was that we finished having used every single piece of wood, with nothing to spare, how often does that happen!

Tadaaaaa!

We went back the next day to cover up the joins.

Boscombe 5k

Lin and I had really been looking forward to this race for a while because it was to be Lin's first for three months, and a step on the road to recovery from her injury, and we would be going to our favourite restaurant after the race. And its a cracking little race! Dead flat along the seafront from Boscombe pier for 2.5k, then a tight turn around a man holding a lamp in the air calling out times, then back to the pier. I like the fact that you can see who is ahead of and behind you at the turn, and the sand on the course, plus the sound of the surf crashing on the beach in the dark is somehow exciting, and exotic.

But first we couldn't get a reservation, then the weather forecast started looking decidedly dodgy, then I found out how unfit I was at the Street 5k on Wednesday with a time over a minute slower than last year. So I wasn't really that keen on it any more and would readily have wimped out, given half a chance. 

But Lin is made of sterner stuff, so we turned up half an hour before the start, just as the heavy rain stopped (but not the wind). We registered,  and prepared ourselves for the ordeal. My goal was to beat my Street time, and hopefully finish ahead of the other V55 males, Lin's was to finish without too much discomfort from her Achilles.

After a jog downwind past the start and along the seafront we turned, back into the 20mph wind and got a taste of what the second half of the out and back course would feel like. Then back to the start, lined up, and we were off. Less of the usual stampede, because numbers were well down on the usual couple of hundred. I pushed hard the whole race, turning in just under 9 minutes, then battling back into the headwind, gratefully tucking in behind an overtaking runner from Poole who turned out to be my V55 competition. I shamelessly drafted for 2k before making a desperate bolt for the finish with 200 metres to go. Lungs bursting, I managed to open up and hold on to a slim lead and also finish under my Street time. So I was fairly pleased, despite taking over a minute more on the return half. 

I jogged back down the course, anxiously scanning for Lin, but she was unfortunately well back, more than I would have expected, even given her loss of fitness. As feared, her Achilles had started to play up almost immediately, and she had had to back off and limp home over 3 minutes down on her usual time which would have won this race normally. She was still first in age-group, but that was no consolation as this was clearly a setback for the injury. Hopefully a bit of rest and continued rehab, and she'll be back in training early in the new year.

After buying a bag of Tesco's cheapest frozen generic mixed veg (even cheaper than the value peas) to use as an emergency cold compress, we consoled ourselves with a fish dinner at our second favourite pub on the way home. There are much worse ways to spend a wet, windy evening in December.

Check out our new website at:

http://maidennewtonrunners.wix.com/maidennewtonrunners

There will be no further amendments or updates made to the old site.

VIEW FROM THE BACK OF THE PACK - SEPTEMBER 2012

Saturday 11 August saw two big events in the running world. While Mo Farah was speeding round the Olympic track to 5000m glory, 117 runners were making their way, at a more sedate pace, around the Maiden NewTen Madness course. Luckily I was stationed under the old railway bridge so was able to listen to Mo’s magic moments on the radio, and then attend to my marshalling duties. We were very pleased to see several of our new ‘Monday night runners’ taking part, including Louise Goodman, Alice Moore and Sean Clothier. I would particularly like to congratulate Floss Wright who, at 17, is making a big impact on the club’s average age. After completing the NewTen course, she is now deciding whether to join Mo Farah at the Great North Run, or to target a race next year.
Next, a quick general knowledge question. Are the ‘Trossachs’ a) a sensitive part of the male anatomy, b) something you kneel on in church, or c) an area of Scotland? The answer turns out to be “c) an area of Scotland”, and this is where we spent the first week of our summer holiday. Our running opportunities included a scenic path around the shores of Loch Katrine, where Rob Roy roamed with his cattle raiders in days gone by. I was training for The Beast, a 13-mile race at Corfe Castle that includes some brutal cliff climbs. After a week in Scotland, we moved to the Lake District, the home of British hill-running. There is a whole fell-running sub-culture, with hardy athletes who would put Southern softies to shame. Perhaps the most impressive of all these great runners is the legendary sheep farmer, Joss Naylor. Now in his 70s, and still running, his past feats include multiple race victories and amazing achievements, such as covering 72 peaks in 24 hours in 1975, a route that involved over 100 miles of running and 38,000 feet of ascent.
I set off for a training run on a damp morning and, as the track climbed, the clouds lowered around me. I must have missed my turn because the path led me through a bog and then up and over 2 small peaks, steep enough to have me scrambling up and down the slippery stones. With only the occasional sheep for company I was starting to panic until a breeze began to disperse the clouds and I could find my way back down.
This brings me on to this month’s running question, which is ‘what is the best way to run downhill?’. My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, says that the best thing to do is not to go up a hill in the first place. If, however, you do find yourself heading downhill, the best advice is not to ‘brake’, by leaning back and landing on your heels, but instead to lean slightly forward and land on the balls of your feet. The aim is to visualise yourself flowing down the hill like a river, though for most of us it feels more a case of bumping downhill like a sack of potatoes.
Back in Dorset, I joined Martin, Lin and 450 others on the start line for The Beast. The route includes 2 huge flights of steps up the cliffs, but I had a secret weapon with me, namely my hat. I found that the peak of my cap stopped me looking upwards to see what was still to come, keeping my morale intact long enough for me to reach the top and the path back to Corfe Castle.
With the nights now starting to draw in, we will soon be testing the batteries in our headtorches for our Monday and Wednesday night runs, to which anyone is welcome. I should also mention the Sydling 5K Fun Run on the morning of Sunday 21 October.

VIEW FROM THE BACK OF THE PACK – OCTOBER 2012

This month I have the unexpected pleasure of reporting on a triumph for Maiden Newton Runners, making our own contribution to the country’s fantastic summer of sport. Never mind the achievements of Bradley Wiggins and Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah and Andy Murray, Ellie Simmonds and David Weir, we have 3 more names to add to the list. Charlie Spencer, Lin Lascelles and Zoe Hayward combined as our ladies team in the King Alfred’s Torment cross-country race at Stourhead. The pre-race omens were not good. Lin’s summer had been disrupted by injury, though she is getting back to full fitness, and Charlie had been slower than usual at the Yeovilton 5K. It turned out though that this was because she had packed the wrong pair of trainers, and ended up running that race in her Pilates shoes. On a wet and windswept September Sunday the dream team lined up, relishing the weather, the mud and the hilly course. Lin was first home, followed by Zoe and then Charlie, this time in the right shoes, and their combined times gave them first place in the ladies team category.
Our team stood proudly for the presentation ceremony. Sadly we do not yet have a flag to fly or a club song for such (rare) occasions, though any suggestions would be welcome. Olympic winners know that they will receive a gold medal, but in club races there is more scope for trophy innovation. Previous winners of our own Maiden NewTen Madness, for example, have been surprised to receive one of Lesley Westgate’s home-grown cucumbers. Lin, Zoe and Charlie did their best to look pleased when they were each presented with a large, ungainly wooden object which, on closer inspection, turned out to be a sort of cuckoo-clock without the cuckoo. Too ugly to be displayed, but too large to be easily hidden at the back of a cupboard, these trophies have given our victorious team a housekeeping dilemma.
This month’s running question asks what have we learnt from the Olympics? My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, had 3 things to say on this subject. Firstly, he announced that he has re-branded himself as an ‘armchair athlete’, and as such took pride in the country’s excellence at sports that can be done sitting down, such as cycling, equestrianism, canoeing and wheelchair racing. In fact he is thinking of having larger wheels fitted to his armchair so that he can get round his house more speedily. Secondly, he said that he now felt better to know that some of the money he wastes each week on the lottery is being used for sports funding. Finally, he said that he would like to see more beach volleyball on the telly. For my part, I was struck by the success of so many female athletes, and the amount of public interest that was generated in sports other than football. I would also say that perhaps too much emphasis is now being placed on elite performance, and the success of the very few world-class competitors, and that it is more important to encourage mass participation, no matter the standard.
As well as the success of our ladies team at Stourhead, I am very pleased to report that we have seen a significant increase in the number of women in the club. The Monday night runs have been particularly effective at getting more women out running with the club, and we hope to keep this going throughout the winter, with the help of head torches and hi-viz clothing. Next month I will be able to report on how we fared at the Parrett Trail relay, and in local races like the Cerne Burn 10K and the Sydling Fun Run.

King Alfred's Torment

A very wet and windy day saw a huddle of Maiden Newton Runners shivering on the start line at the beginning of this scenic, hilly 7 mile race.

There were some very strange marshals out in those woods today!



Zoe shows her speed.



Go Charlie!



Maiden Newton Runners win the Ladies Team prize!

Charmouth Challenge

Race report by Dan

I was very disappointed to be stranded in Cattistock by flooding on the day of the Charmouth Challenge, so it was great to hear that it had been re-scheduled. I turned up a day early by mistake, but decided not to recce the route, so as to avoid unnecessarily tiring my legs (I think I heard this advice from Dave's mate, Mr. L. Notbother). No recce needed, the course was well marked with marshalls at the right places and even two water stations. I kept far too close behind Martin and Lin at the start, but they must have been running a tactical race, because I had enough energy to hit the first hill fairly hard. Once it levelled off, there was a flat section, with long views and I could still see the front runners, perhaps only 500m ahead! 

There were more hills, and I found myself occasionally being overtaken on the medium climbs, by people that I would then overtake as they walked on the really steep bits. There were some dastardly steps that break the stride and make running very tricky. My legs were burning at the top of that bit...I would probably have been quicker overall if I had walked, but there's some satisfaction to keeping on running and not giving up.
Normally I'm one of the more reckless at descending, but some of the runners that charged past me on the steepest descents must have had even more of a death wish. These were the same ones that I ran past going uphill. This felt very odd - normally it's the other way around.

There were fantastic views, and I could see sails off Lyme Regis. Some friends from Sutton Bingham sailing club were out there racing. It felt quite breezy on top of the hills, so I expect that the serene white triangles in the distance probably belied frantic scenes of spray, capsizes and 'nautical' language.

About a mile from the finish I was overtaken by an athletic looking figure, who blasted past me, then settled into about the same pace as mine, 20m or so in front. When I saw the finish line flags, I thought I may as well try, so sprinted as quietly as I could. He saw me about 3 seconds from the line when I was a meter behind, and sprang to life. The finish line was quite narrow, and we 'crashed' across it, nearly taking out the timekeeper. They 'clocked' him first, but it was a close thing. Turns out he has done the OMM, an event that I am very tempted by. Well if he could do it... On the other hand, the OMM requires good navigation, so I don't think finishing behind someone that's done it in anyway indicates my readiness.

1:14 by my watch. Did not check the results, but by the look on Martin and Lin's faces, I think they probably did the club proud. 

Madness!

Despite misgivings about the date conflicting with another small sporting event taking place at the moment the 8th Maiden Newten Madness was well supported on a lovely evening which even saw the post race prize giving take place outside for the first time in race history.

As the 117 runners toed the start line for Phil's "brief"-ing the burning question was whether Paul Rose would defend his 2011 title or whether Alex Todd, Axe Valley Runner's winner of the recent Haselbury Trail, would give him a run for his money.......or would some speedy tourist from parts unknown take them both by surprise?  Further down the field most people just wanted to finish in time to partake of the fantastic spread of cakes provided.......

The course record of 37.49 was set in 2009 by Bertie Powell of Woodford Green and as the minutes ticked by it became apparent that it would be unbroken for another year.  Eventually a cry was heard from the last marshalling point and the ever consistent Paul appeared powering over the line in an excellent time of 39.45, just over a minute ahead of Alex.  Alex was closely followed by Mike Pierce but then there was a gap of almost two minutes before the rest of the field began to arrive.

As usual Yeovil Town Road Running Club had turned out in force, not only taking the overall winner's trophy, but also the first V50 prize with Mike Harvey finishing in 45.40 and keeping it in the family, Mike's sister, Rose Harvey, also from YTRRC was first lady home in 48.59.  Richard Orme from Egdon Heath Harriers broke the green and white stranglehold on the honours to take the first V60 prize in 51.41.

Egdon Heath also took second place in the ladies race with Elaine Falcus finishing in 50.14 and the V35 and V45 prizes went to Sandra Hewson of Westbourne RC and Alison Barry from Wimborne AC respectively. Maiden Newton Runner's Lesley Westgate took the V55 prize narrowly beating her arch rival, the other Lesley (Nesbitt) by 8 seconds in the process.

First Maiden Newton Runner home was Richard Rider in 11th place with Dave Carnell following him over the line and Jackie Webb was delighted to break the hour to finish in 58.18.

Early feedback indicates that everyone found the race as well organised and friendly as ever, Phil having done his usual excellent job of making it happen whilst the rest of us flapped around pretending that we were helping.  And I think it would be fair to say that the reputation of the post race refreshments being the best in Dorset was proved to be true yet again.

Thanks to everyone that came along to make it such a great evening especially when the alternative would have been to stay at home and watch the fantastic achievement of Mo Farah becoming a double gold medallist at that other small sporting event...................

The results are here: http://www.yeoviltownrrc.com/2012_results/MNR10km.pdf

View(s) from the Back of the Pack

The last two amusing episodes of the View from the Back of the Pack by Dave Webb


JUNE 2012
The big event of the past few weeks has been the club’s annual Johnny Kipps run, but I will start elsewhere, with the London Marathon. The 37,000 starters included five of us from Maiden Newton Runners. Richard Rider relished his first Marathon, and was beaming happily at the finish, while Lin and Martin Lascelles sped round the course so that they both clocked sub-3 hour times. Lin was the 2nd lady in the 45-49 age range, an achievement which is both astonishing and thoroughly out of keeping with the spirit of our club. Charlie, meanwhile, started to wish that Micky would emerge from the crowd to give her a lift on his bike, as he had done on one of her training runs, but still finished in a good time, and is already starting to wonder about doing it again. She has asked me to pass on her thanks to all those who sponsored her for Children with Cancer UK; so far she has collected £2,000, with more to come. For my part, my first words on finishing, after several minutes of gasping and cursing, were ‘Never Again’. The first 16 miles or so went OK, the next 4 were a struggle, and the last 6 miles were decidedly unpleasant. I knew that Jackie and the boys would be watching around the 25 mile mark, so I forced myself to keep running till I saw them, and then to carry on to the finish.
I was therefore not expecting the headline in my newspaper the next day, “Dave Webb is surprise choice for Olympic marathon’. On closer study, however, it turned out that the selectors had not chosen a middle-aged jogger from Dorset, but my 30-year old namesake, a chartered accountant from Leeds. I will though keep my diary clear for August 12th in case I’m needed.
Our April meeting may have been the first time, in our 27 year history, that we found ourselves seated in the corridor between the bar, scene of a noisy and popular pub quiz, and the skittle alley, occupied for the evening by the British Legion. Our meeting was then punctuated by the questions of the quizmaster, such as: Can polar bears jump? True or False: the earth and the moon are the same age? What farmyard animal is used to search for truffles? How many strings on a ukulele?
My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, was keen to answer some of these quiz questions, so I dropped my planned running topic and instead asked him to explain the origin of the 5 Olympic rings. He confidently announced that they represent the doughnuts that are presented to the first 5 finishers, correcting my long-held belief that they symbolised the 5 continents involved in the Olympics.
I must move on to the big event of recent weeks, the Johnny Kipps. This is an annual club run, in a 6-mile circuit from Wynford Eagle via West Compton and Eggardon. We have run it in all weathers, from sizzling sunshine to this year’s tempting combination of strong winds and heavy rain. 11 hardy runners turned out to compete for perhaps the most prestigious prize in sport, the coveted biscuit tin, and for the first time it was won by a non-member, one Dominic Taylor from Sydling. Our quick-thinking chairman, Phil, overcame this technicality by awarding Dominic a year’s membership so that we could offload the biscuit tin to him without infringing any club rules.
Finally, I must mention our new Monday night runs, aimed at those who don’t want to go so far or so fast as the Tuesday runners. Meeting outside The Chalk at 7pm each Monday, these are already proving popular and bringing new members into the club. Which country is the largest producer of cheese?

MAY 2012
I am writing 2 weeks before running in the London Marathon, so my thoughts are turning to last-minute race preparations. We have already done our last long training runs which, in Charlie’s case, ended with her hurtling down the hill from Sydling on the back of Micky’s bike (possibly practising for an unusual finish in London on 22 April). The final weeks before a marathon are known as the ‘taper’ phase of the training programme. This phase is the one that comes most naturally to Maiden Newton Runners, since it involves running less and eating more. The idea is to scale down your running efforts, so that your legs are fresh on race day. At the same time you need to increase your food intake, sometimes known as ‘carbo-loading’, to ensure you are not running on empty. The purists would also avoid alcohol in the last few weeks, but in our club we are always careful not to take things too far.
Another part of the marathon build-up is to enter some races during the training phase. On March 25 there were 5 club members running in the Yeovil Half-Marathon, which was treacherously scheduled for a 9.00am start the morning after the clocks went forward. Despite the club’s proud tradition of incompetence, we all succeeded in arriving on time, although I discovered that my clubmates had taken some innovative preparation methods. Andy had walked from Cattistock to Sydling for a pub lunch the day before, downed 2 or 3 pints, and walked home. Pete, meanwhile, had also agreed to Dan’s suggestion of entering the Night Runner, which started at 7pm the previous evening. At some point he realised that he had signed up for 2 races that began within 14 hours of each other. He did well in the Night Runner, finishing 8 miles at about 8pm, in 8th place. He also took the precaution of getting up early to eat porridge, so that he stood on the start line at Yeovil less than 12 hours after finishing his previous race, with only a few hours’ sleep to refresh him. Not surprisingly, Pete found the latter stages of the race somewhat trying, ‘especially the last 10 miles’. I should also mention Charlie, who set a new personal best for the half-marathon of 1 hour 49 minutes, despite the hilly route; I think she was mainly relieved to have beaten Micky, her husband, who also ran this year, despite his dodgy knees. Finally, Richard Rider put in a good bid for the coveted ‘King of the Hill’ crown which is awarded to the runner with the quickest time up Hendford Hill, getting into the top 10 times for that part of the course. And I must mention that, on the same day, one of our new members, Alison Ambrose, ran her first marathon in Barcelona, in an impressive 4 hours 19 minutes.
Still on the theme of pre-race activities, this month’s running question is ‘What is the best thing to eat before a race?’ My co-panellist, Mr Les Knott-Bother, was keen to go first and declared that he has a long-established tradition of eating a big fried breakfast before a race. His answer surprised me in several ways until I realised that he was talking about Sunday mornings while he waits for the Grand Prix on the TV. For my part, I favour a big bowl of Dorset Cereals Simply Delicious Muesli* about an hour before the start.
I must end by sending good wishes to Mike and Di Ashworth who have moved to a new job near Salisbury, leaving a big gap in our club. Mike’s amiable absent-mindedness will be hard to replace, though we will do our best.
* all sponsorship deals willingly considered

‘A Marathon Moment’

Wow – thank you Maiden Newton Runners for giving me the opportunity to do the London Marathon in 2012!  Running around in the darkness before BST, it didn’t really hit home what this wonderful day would involve emotionally.

Essentially, I was lucky and thankful to have the opportunity to run it because I missed the ballet last year (it was done in dusted by May – so get on-line quick for 2014!)  Charlie Spencer and I were the only two who wanted the club place.  So we agreed to help each other, by getting a charity place as well.

On a chilly run to celebrate New Year (well, we are a running club!) I quizzed the Phil, the club chairman upon what the expectation was of me; he said ‘none – just turn up at the start line!’  Now this is easier said than done, because there are another 40,000 or so trying to do this at the same time, on the same Sunday morning in the same far corner of London!  The other bit of advice gained from Lin, Martin and Dave was ‘get the miles done in training’.  Needless to say, this is hard too, but it proved fundamental in the end.

 Although a major task in the 3 months beforehand, the training enable me to literally enjoy and remember every mile ran during the race, for the faces and sites seen, and music and cheers heard, and not the pain endured.  I’ll skip the training bit to the fun bit, but is worth mentioning that we live in a beautiful country.  It was joy to explore the paths of Dorset, Somerset, Gloucestershire, Cornwall, Southampton and even Slough (!) during the training.

Established in 1982, the London Marathon is fantastically well organised; from publishing advice and tips a month beforehand, organising an exciting expo in London in the days before race; to markers with clocks at every mile, and food, drink and Vasoline provided when ever needed, and the fact that you get your bag handed to you within minutes of finishing!

Getting to the Start is nerve-racking, especially if it is a new experience, and if you have a track record to cutting it fine to the start of races!  And having a pee beforehand was a tough test of nerve in itself; 30 minutes in a queue leaving 10 minutes to throw the bag in the lorry and find the relevant section of the Start before 09.45!  It could all go very wrong, and being surrounded by fellow runners all feeling the same ‘uneasiness’, it was easy to strike up conversation and hold each other’s bags whilst we warmed up.  Filtering into the Start was seamless, and everyone around me was beaming, probably because like me, they had made it!!

It was not until passing under the first mile banner that the relief hit me, and I was able to enjoy myself.  I’d been keeping this quiet, but I had sustained a knee strain during the last weeks of training, which hurt when I walked.  In the last 2 weeks of training, I cycled instead to rest it, and it was only after running a few minutes did the jarring go.  The rest is history!

During the race, the music and party atmosphere was just sensational; an electric charge beamed out of the top of my head throughout.  The Caribbean sounds of South London just transported us to the second half of the race, where they say the race really starts.   Then the sights of London begin; the Shard, Tower Bridge, the City, etc (even the Institution of Civil Engineers at mile 26 – don’t tell me you missed it?!)  And whatever one thinks about bankers, they had a great party going on in an intimate amphitheatre of Canary Wharf’s steel and glass, and it was amazing to run though and experience.

It started to get harder after the City, and the quads started to pull after 17 miles.  However, my pace was steady and I was on track to get my target time.  So I remembered all the training I had put in, focused on my action and dug in.

One thing that is hard to do is spot loved ones in the crowds.  Looking at faces, they appear to look through you in the main because they are looking through for their loved ones.  ‘June’, the lady dressed as a Cheatah, and Super Mario brothers 'Mario and Luigi'  received the majority of casual support in our section of runners.  On mile 23 I got mine – friends Steve and Rachel gave out Neanderthal shout and eye contact was gained, just when I needed it!

Now runners were starting to pull up 50 m or so; either walking, stopped by cramp or those that had fallen.  This was unnerving, and the mind started to wonder; did I tie up my shoe laces properly?

Another thing that was surreal was the tunnel under one of the bridges on the Embankment before Big Ben – we descended from the Strand into darkness, and then silence.  Only the sound of panting runners and pattering of trainers echoed off the walls.  These few minutes allowed us to compose ourselves, check the hair, and practice the victory celebration.... then we rose up the ramp, the crowd fringing the edges of daylight above, and the sound returned.

I got over the line in under 3.5 hours (ok, 3.29 so I cut it fine!) which was my goal.  Behind the scenes at the Finish, it was eerily silent again.  Here, we were able to collect our thoughts, and give mutual congratulatory glances at each other, and even shed a tear!  The hum drum soon returns though, when we filed out from behind the fencing to join friends and family.  Here, I met with Dave, Lin, Martin and Charlie and we shared our stories.

I am very thankful to Maiden Newton Runners for giving me the place, not least Charlie; and for supporting me on some of the long runs during training.   It was an electric day, one that I’ll remember forever and comes recommended!

Poole Runners Summer Series - Race 1

Last night Martin and I headed down to Upton Park near Poole for the first 3.5 mile race in the summer series organised by Poole Runners.  Although we have enjoyed a couple of seasons of the winter series of 5k races also put on by Poole, it has taken us a while to get around to the  summer version - although summer was not a word you would readily use to describe the weather last night.  The setting could not be faulted - the park is lovely - the cold, gloomy weather was anything but.  The race started at 7.30 and I was getting worried that I would need a head torch, there was never any question about whether or not to wear gloves!


Our expectations were low as we lined up at the start - our legs are still in post marathon recovery state and I had a disgusting snotty cold as further excuse for poor performance - but we had decided a race would be a good boost to our rapidly declining fitness levels and so at 7.30 we joined in the headlong rush from the start line, conveniently situated next to the toilet block in the car park!


Despite this inauspicious start the rest of the route was lovely as we turned, almost immediately, onto a pleasant tree lined track to begin our first lap. My legs felt light and strong and I set off at a brisk pace keeping Martin well within sight for most of the first mile and a half. There were some tight turns and muddy bits, not to mention a few tree roots and then a section of easy running along a board walk with the lake to our right. I was very aware of a female rival breathing down my neck on the first lap and just before we re-entered the car park to begin our second circuit she passed me but then seemed to slow down.  As we ran down the tree lined lane for the second time I overtook her and she seemed to fade and drop away.


Most of the second loop was really hard work as my legs began to protest at the misuse they were suffering but it was made slightly easier knowing what lay ahead and although I was expecting to be overtaken at any moment I managed to hang on to the lead in the ladies race despite another challenger appearing on my shoulder.  The finish funnel came into view much sooner than expected as the race did not finish where it started and Martin was there encouraging me to sprint in for an unofficial time of 22.34.  He had finished over a minute ahead in 21.23 and although the results have not yet been posted I suspect he will have been the first V55 finishing as he did somewhere in the top ten.


All things considered a good result and we are already looking forward to the next one!


This is a really excellent race and a very pleasant way to spend a Friday evening, especially if the weather is more seasonal!  Here is a link to the rest of the series just in case anyone is tempted:   http://poolerunners.digital-trip.co.uk/Files/Summer-Time-Trial-Series-2012.aspx

The Last Horner Water 11?

Take some of the less demanding bits of Stagger, some of the best running tracks from the Seaview, some of the magical river sections of the Drogo and a bit of scenic moorland road and you have the Horner Water 11. Add a clear blue sky to a chilly spring day, attach marker tape to a few trees, provide a water station and lots of marshals,and you have all the ingredients for possibly the best race of its kind in the country.

Runners seem to drift almost by chance to an isolated Somerset beauty spot. Part of me didn't want to write about this race, to keep its secret safe among the lucky few who know. Summoned by Fred Hagan to an imaginary start line, we posed for a group photo. Fred then warned us of the highland cattle with huge horns that stood their ground menacingly as the course was laid. Lesley seriously considered a DNS as she remembered the terrors of the comparatively tame cows at Haselbury.

We set off along an enchanting track beside the burbling Horner Water with its ancient woodland. Birdsong filled the air and all was well with the world. This race sneaks up on you and it becomes more demanding - the first half climbs from 198ft to 1545ft, with a tiring section across the moor. We were then rewarded with a steep downhill 3/4 mile road section with good views, before returning to tracks, moorland and woods. I loved the seriously narrow, steep, slippery gully strewn with tree roots as described in the course notes and wondered how Lesley would fare on this section.

All too soon we were back on part of the outbound track and heading for the finish. By all accounts the distance is about 10 miles and I was very happy with my time of about 84 minutes. In true Seaview style Minehead RC had provided a stupendous array of sandwiches, rolls, cakes, pies, biscuits etc for the runners. As I settled down on the grassy bank to a huge slab of date and walnut cake it was obvious by all the blood and dirt that several runners had taken a tumble.

Lesley came home looking strong followed some minutes later by Graham Newton of AVR. He is an excellent runner in his own right but today ran with his daughter who was over from Ecuador.

Given the countryside, the distance, the challenge, the weather and the special dedication of Minehead RC, this was probably the most enjoyable event I have ever done.

YORK ARROW TWO OUT OF THREE AINT BAD

TWO OUT OF THREE AINT BAD, Easter Arrow to York (AUDAX)

Just a few short weeks ago I got an E mail from Charlie Bladon (MNR long distance cyclist) asking if I was busy over Easter? As a most of you know I struggle with the written word at times, but I really should be able to type “Yes sorry I am busy”

Instead I managed to sign my self and two good friends up to joining Charlie and a fellow AUDAX member Andrew (more about Audax later) to a 24hour 400KM ride, just to get a Weatherspoons breakfast in York.

Any concerns/fears we had, were pushed a side by Charlie’s confidences is our ability! As the date drew closer, Charlie’s organisational skills swung in to action with E mails of maps and instructions, including attempts at explaining AUDAX rules (being French there were plenty of them, but they could be changed when or if required!!)
Below is a list of the stages we would follow, from leaving MN at 8.00am on Good Friday. You will note the 400km has already stretched to over 450KM (that is 270 miles in old money)


Leg km Climb m Climbing (meters per km)
Maiden Newton 0 0 0
Bradford on Avon 76 920 12.1
Cirencester 53.8 396 7.4
Moreton in Marsh 44.07 481 10.9
Leicester 96.53 556 5.8
Newark on Trent 64.4 288 4.5
Thorne 72.35 264 3.6
York 46.74 117 2.5


453.89 3022
Actual quotes from Charlie’s Emails

“The route gets progressively flatter as we go on, which will allow us to make up time if required. As you know I am not built for hills so don't want to go off too quick, but am more than happy to sit on the front on the flat. The last 200km are appeciably easier”

“Controls: For the audax virgins amongst you, you need to understand that one of the joys of long distance cycling is sitting on a bag of coal / logs outside a 24hr service station at 3am eating a Ginsters pie washed down with crap coffee. I very much hope to be able to provide this experience for you”.

Below are the had hand picked refuelling points along the planed route

Bradford on Avon there is a Sainsburys
Cirencester has a choice of Tesco or MacDonalds
Moreton in Marsh: Esso garage
Leicester: 24hr garage / cafes
Newark on Trent: 24 hour garage
Thorne: 24 hour garage Texaco
York: Weatherspoons.

Something else to note for later, we had one member of the team who will not shop at Tesco and anther member who regularly preaches how bad Mc Donald’s are.

As you will all know the weather was great leading up to the Easter holiday, but then Snow fell as far south as the midlands just two days before we were due to set off. This looked to be the perfect excuse for backing out, not a chance. Charlie assured us the snow would be gone and as we were avoiding high ground it would be fine!

True to his word, we may have had a frost but in MN at 8.00am on Friday the sun was shining. It appears the paper shop is used to Charlie coming in at strange times to get his Audax card stamped before setting off on, what to most are mad journeys. But the sight of 5 of us all getting our cards stamped before heading off to York seemed to cause quite a stir among the locals still half a sleep collecting their papers,

Not being able to say NO has seen me take on a number of strange events, so I should have just taken this one in my stride. But to be honest it wasn’t until we were about ten hours in, that I stopped looking for reasons to turn back and accepted the challenge.

The first stage went well to plan and we enjoyed refreshment at Sainsbury’s Bradford on Avon, I think this was the first time Charlie tried to assure us some of the worst climbs were now behind us, if any of you have driven out of Bradford on Avon towards Cirencester you would question that comment.
On we went to our next stop at Cirencester where the group split for our refreshment between Tesco’s and McDonalds.
Two stages down we made the decision as traffic was light, to take the direct route straight up the Fosse Way. This was the first sign we got that Charlie really did not like hills, if you have never been up the Fosse way. It is best described as a roller coaster; there is some stunning country side perfect for view from a nice soft top sports car or motor bike. But for a push bike it meant a lot of hard work and the average KPH (mph) dropping quite quickly. We eventually arrived at the Esso station in Morton in the Marsh, only to find their coffee machine was broken. Undeterred after refuelling we set off slightly behind schedule, for the longest stage of the route. This meant continuing along the Fosse Way all the way to Leicester, the route continuing to undulate all the way. leading to statements from our leader along the lines off “I am never going to use this route again” followed by “don’t worry the route is flat/down hill from Leicester to York”. This led me to question why people always say they are going up North.

By the time we reached the outskirts of Leicester it had started to rain and we were well in to the night. Passing several takeaways in the hope of finding somewhere we could get inside and have some hot food, we continued further and further in to the city centre with no sign of a McD or similar. Eventually a Tesco express was spotted, with a call “stuff my principles; I need something to eat and Drink.

We must have been a sight, 11.00pm 5 wet and weary cyclists clutching hot cups of coffee and stuffing down food like we had not eaten for days. But we seemed to be invisible to all the locals heading for a night out, I can not imagine we were a sight you regularly see at this time of night.

I think it is fair to say heads had started to drop a little at this point, but we were still optimistic of making up time and making it to York for breakfast. After all it was going to be flat all the way now!!!
Next stop Newark on Trent, unfortunately we had not got far before an unseen pot hole cased a double puncture. Working in the dark, cold and wet conditions, the repairs could not be compared to those of a formula one teams. But with a team effort we were on our way again, still no sign of the promised flat roads. After what seemed like hours of constant climbing, we were reward by a down hill run in to Newark. Unfortunately signs that say 24hours don’t seem to mean 24hours. The bright lights of a newly built 24 hour Asda lead us only to a locked door. We did manage to find a fuel station which was open, with a very help full assistant who willingly served us coffees though the night hatches. Not once questioning what the hell we were doing at 2.30am.

Only two stages to go, one long stage to Throne followed by a short stage to York, but there was some sort of 22 hour rule which had to be included.

22 hour rule: We are required to get a stamp at 22 hours. I am hoping this will tie in with Thorne, but if not it may be a case of an ATM receipt wherever we may be. 25km must be completed between hours 22 and 24.

The leg to Throne started badly when we got off route (that means lost) followed by yet another puncture. We did have the luxury of street light this time, so time was shaved off our last effort. We eventually got back on route (knowing where we were), but had lost quite a lot of time and what a surprise, done a lot more climbing. At 5.00am we reach a junction with the main A1 which just happened to have a service area. Very cold and very wet, an unscheduled stop was agreed, more principles slipped as we tucked in to a McDonalds breakfast and reviewed our options.

If a support vehicle had been available at this time, there is a strong chance we would have been on our way home. This not being an option we would have to go on. A review of a damp map, showed we still had about 20 miles to Thorne, followed by a further 28 miles to York. This would put us in York at best around 10.00am; this was not helping to incurring the team back on their bikes again. As I mentioned earlier AUDAX has many rules, but it seems they can be changed to suite your situation.

Lesser distances: The rules allow for us to complete 20% less than the previously submitted amount subject to a minimum of 360km so as long as we do 360km we get validated, as as long as we still have a 22 hour stamp.

This gave us the option to take a direct route to Doncaster instead, only a mere 22 miles away. 22 hour stamp gained, it was 6.00am and we were off. All we had to do was make Doncaster by 8.00am and we would have completed an Audax 400km event. The light of a new day was breaking and the rain was clearing, added to that we seemed to have actual found a flat route at last.
With the worst behind us and the end (well Doncaster) getting ever closer, I must have start to switch off, as I found myself almost falling a sleep while still riding. Stopping for a quick power nap was not an option, so the next best thing was to take to the front and pick up the pace in an effort to wake up. Not sure this was much appreciated by all the team but it worked for me and it got us in to Doncaster Station bang on the 24 hour allotted time. Where son James who had left Dorset at 4.00am to ensure he would be there to pick us up and claim his breakfast, unfortunately Doncaster Station had no breakfast facility so this had to wait until the first service we came to on the M1 (thanks James)

To sum up
We completed 24 hours on a bike
We covered 400km (242miles)
But we did not make it to York

Am I bothered we did not make it to York “no”
Will I be joining Audox any time soon “no”

That said I enjoyed the adventure and the team spirit. I am still left wondering what you have to do before the body finally says no enough is enough.

Thanks again to Charlie for all his efforts in arrange everything.
But before you ask I am busy next Easter.